Last Friday, I stopped by my office for a desk-cleanup. My commute to Buckhead took 20 minutes, not 60+. The air had that slightly-sticky, nearly-summer edge to it. More to the point, it was the first time I’d been out, by myself, since March 15.
I put on a silly Top 40 station, mostly to avoid the incessant non-updates of Our Plague. But also because it’s just one of those things you can do in a car that makes no sense at home. I rolled a window down.
I wondered if we’d still have a “song of the summer” without people idling in cars, in Targets, in thrift stores (these are places where earworms are made or broken, I firmly believe).
Heartache for the trivial washed over the drive. On a day like that, a regular kind of day, I’d be buoyed by the thrill of not working at 2 PM on a Friday, making plans for Too Much Fun(™) that evening.
So I know it makes for a longer newsletter than usual, but here are some silly, trivial, self-indulgent things that I miss, and want to have again:
The jambon-beurre at Bread & Butterfly
A movie at Midtown Art or the Tara or the Plaza on a whim
An early happy hour on the Mary’s porch
Saturday brunch at Manuel’s
Texting that I’m late to meet someone somewhere, from the back of an Uber
Thursday evening Pilates class
A cocktail, an oyster, and a corner wall bar seat at Kimball House
IT’S MY WAY OR THE (SUNSHINE) SKYWAY
“I was in charge of the deck chairs on the Titanic, and they absolutely did need rearranging.”
See inside Sweden’s logjam-inspired floating hotel.
You’ve probably gathered that in this moment, I’m loving virtual travel portals: Internet spaces that exist to let you float through other cities/places, as though you could be on your way there tomorrow. For today, Outside Simulator.
It makes me feel really??? inexplicably upset??? emotionally robbed?? that this Victorian mansion floated right through the whole Tampa Bay in 2006, and I did not know about it until this year?!?!?!
A HANDFUL OF SKITTLES TASTES JUST LIKE A GOOD KEY LIME PIE
Every year, I am responsible for 2 major components of our Christmas Eve dinner: the prime rib and a key lime pie. The latter is varying degrees of frustrating (depending on how much of a purist you are about whole key limes, versus using the juice) but generally the end result is what you’d hope: sour, sweet, a lil crunchy.
Keys to a successful key lime: an early start and patience. Not adhering to either will result in a very late key lime pie, and/or a pie that’s soupy, not solid. I have experienced both of these events. It’s devastating.
Prep time: 15 minutes
Cook time: 25 minutes, between crust & composed pie
Total time: 8ish hours
INGREDIENTS
For the crust:
8-10 graham crackers (typically the amount that comes in one of those little packages. I am partial to the cinnamon sugar variety)
2 tbsp. regular granulated sugar
6 tbsp. butter, melted
For the filling:
1 14 oz. can of sweetened condensed milk
4 egg yolks, separated
EITHER 1 bag of key limes ... if it’s ideological purity you’re after. Admittedly, as with most things that are processed vs. whole, the “real” thing does have a flavor difference. It is a PITA, though, there is NO shortcut to juicing these things other than with your hardened, crampy claws.
OR, about ½-¾ cup of key lime juice, which you can typically find in one of the lower endcaps of the citrus aisle.
Important: don’t shortcut with regular lime juice.
WHAT TO DO:
Preheat the oven to 350. Get out a 9-inch pie plate.
Make the crust: Crush the graham crackers in a large, tightly sealed Ziploc bag. Do this by summoning every ounce of rage you’ve held onto this quarantine. Crush the crackers until there are no big chunks, but also not so much that they’re absolute dust. If this sounds boring or if you don’t have pent-up emotions to release (#checkyourprivilege), you can do this for half a minute in a food processor.
Combine your crushed graham crackers, melted butter, and sugar in a big bowl and mix to combine thoroughly. Pour into a pie plate, making sure to cover the entire bottom as evenly as possible so it cooks evenly. It helps to use something like a flat-bottomed glass to distribute the crumbs, but make sure it covers the whole bottom (it will). Put the crust in the oven, taking out after about 10 minutes, when it will have turned a little golden. While the crust cools, leave the oven on and make the pie filling.
Make the filling: Squeeze the key limes (this will take a long time, don’t say I didn’t warn you), or measure out your ready-made key lime juice. Set aside. In a separate large bowl, add the whole can of condensed milk (you’ll need a rubber spatula to get it all out) and the egg yolks. Whisk until well-mixed.
Slowly whisk in the key lime juice. The amount depends on how much you have and how tart you like your pie. If you only have ½ cup, then just use that. If you have more, use up to ¾ a cup if you like it really tart. Regardless of how much you’re using, stir it in a little bit at a time.
Pour the filling into the crust so that it reaches almost the top of the crust (don’t overfill it!). Put in the oven and bake for about 15 minutes.
Let it cool on the counter for a few minutes. Cover the top tightly with plastic wrap. Make sure the wrap doesn’t touch the top of the pie. If it is, later when you go to remove it, it will mar the perfect surface, which will bum you out on a visceral level.
Put the wrapped pie in the fridge and let it chill for at least six to eight hours. I cannot emphasize this enough!!! Enjoy with some majorly processed whipped cream, or make your own with another recipe because I have never and probably will never.